Newsletter #3 - A Quilting Class for Memories

Probably the most difficult job for parents is to keep the home’s rituals and routines ongoing. These routines need to happen all week long for young children. Routines that happen only on Monday and Tuesday aren’t routines. Children need something in their life that is constant. Children thrive when there are some things they can count on. Children who live without routine or rituals struggle with change and experience stress. Routines can be an every night bedtime story, sitting in the same chairs at dinner, a 5 minute chat, dinner with the television off and a kiss goodnight. Consistent guidance in the form of bedtime, mealtime, naptime and clean up routines act as an anchor point in a child’s ever changing world. A parent’s job is to keep and maintain these routines. A parent provides care, answers questions, manages the house, enforces limits and cares about family members. A child’s job is to learn, ask questions, keep on trying, follow the rules, communicate needs and listen. Parents and children routinely need to hug, laugh, and assure one another they belong and are loved. Learning and following the home routines will help a child grow up with an inner sense of security. A parent’s job is to be friendly with their child. It is not to be their child’s friend.


What science tells us is that nurturing and stable relationships with caring adults are essential to healthy human development beginning from birth. Early secure attachments contribute to the growth of a broad range of competencies, including a love of learning, a comfortable sense of oneself, positive social skills, and multiple successful relationships at later ages, and a sophisticated understanding of emotions, commitment, morality, and other aspects of human relationships.

Ruth Reardon’s poem is a helpful things to do list for parents:
CREATE A QUILT OF MEMORIES
to keep me warm.
An inner warmth that comes
from light of happy times.
Weave in the thread of holidays,
of friends and families…
Delights of seashore, fields,
of city parks.
The simplest happenings
traced out in love
become a pattern,
for my quilt of memories.

We learn how to drive cars before a license is issued. Professionals are trained to cut hair, repair cars, provide medical care, and teach school. Brick layers work years as an apprentice and computer wizards attend many sessions to learn about upgrades and software application. Let’s recognize the importance of being available to our children. Children need adults in their lives. Children do not need stuff.