Newsletter #7 - Gang Membership
I have been thinking about gangs. I happen to know there has been a dramatic increase in gang involvement throughout the state. People used to think that gangs were inner city phenomena. Not true. Although we know gang membership comes with a price. Truth is the benefits quite often outweigh the negative accoutrements. Gangs offer acceptance. Once you are in you are in. Gang members like you just the way you are.
Gangs offer a clear sense of belonging. You not only are accepted in the gang you are considered one of us. I always liked the song in Oliver where the family dances around and sings, “Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself part of the family." A gang does that with balloons and whistles. Gang members wonder where you are, how you are, and when you will be back. Another song from Oliver does that well too. “You can go, but come back soon.”
Gangs offer fun. Events are planned together with great care and structure. Gangs have clear rules and limits. Everyone knows what is expected. Everyone knows how to behave and what outfit should be worn. Gangs provide members a sense of power and they model good gang behavior. Gangs move well in unison. Gang members have spoken eloquently about feeling emotionally safe when other gang members are around. Too often a sense of isolation and loneliness seeps in to one’s bone marrow. Gangs help alleviate that depression. Gangs assure a member that you are important enough to be part of the group.
From what I have read, the best way to extinguish the power innate to a gang is to get rid of the gang leadership. Get rid of the ones who make the rules, model the behavior, and assure all members they are needed, valued and significant. Without the leaders, members wander disconnected.
Licensed parent educators share strategies with parents to assure that family members belong, are clear on rules and limits, and are accepted for who and how they are. Good parent education is about family connections at the kitchen table and being intentional about routines and rituals. Louis Gonzales, Ph.D. said, “Gangs tend to be less attractive to a child who gets those needs met at home. The family has to be the better gang.” Children that live in a home with parents who understand their leadership role, provide reassurance, acceptance and emotional sustenance for all, will be happy to spend time in the family room. Good parent education really encourages parents to be strong and persistent gang leaders.
Gangs offer a clear sense of belonging. You not only are accepted in the gang you are considered one of us. I always liked the song in Oliver where the family dances around and sings, “Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself part of the family." A gang does that with balloons and whistles. Gang members wonder where you are, how you are, and when you will be back. Another song from Oliver does that well too. “You can go, but come back soon.”
Gangs offer fun. Events are planned together with great care and structure. Gangs have clear rules and limits. Everyone knows what is expected. Everyone knows how to behave and what outfit should be worn. Gangs provide members a sense of power and they model good gang behavior. Gangs move well in unison. Gang members have spoken eloquently about feeling emotionally safe when other gang members are around. Too often a sense of isolation and loneliness seeps in to one’s bone marrow. Gangs help alleviate that depression. Gangs assure a member that you are important enough to be part of the group.
From what I have read, the best way to extinguish the power innate to a gang is to get rid of the gang leadership. Get rid of the ones who make the rules, model the behavior, and assure all members they are needed, valued and significant. Without the leaders, members wander disconnected.
Licensed parent educators share strategies with parents to assure that family members belong, are clear on rules and limits, and are accepted for who and how they are. Good parent education is about family connections at the kitchen table and being intentional about routines and rituals. Louis Gonzales, Ph.D. said, “Gangs tend to be less attractive to a child who gets those needs met at home. The family has to be the better gang.” Children that live in a home with parents who understand their leadership role, provide reassurance, acceptance and emotional sustenance for all, will be happy to spend time in the family room. Good parent education really encourages parents to be strong and persistent gang leaders.
posted by Ada at
9:00 AM
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