Running Lessons

Running Lessons

David Walsh, recently interviewed by Bill Moyers on public television, believes that children learn through observation and then they imitate what they’ve observed. He is often quoted by local media as a thoughtful and concerned physician worried about violence. Times are changing. Home, community, and societal values used to be synchronized as to what was best for children. If Walsh is right, we should consider what we are putting into our children's learning experiences. What are they observing? What does it mean to be a grown up? What messages are we sharing with children about being an adult? What are modeling regarding commitment and responsibility?

I have been surprised by the many lessons our children learned from their running mother. I remember training for my first marathon. Heather once said, “Mom when you leave for a long run you look like Kathryn Hepburn. But when you come back you look more like Henry Fonda.” My appearance change was the result of those long training runs that usually took all of Saturday morning. I remember going to grocery stores in the afternoon barely able to move the cart. Heather helped push the cart as I studied which bread and milk to purchase.

There were many evenings when I was the only parent home. I would have the girls turn on the front porch light and I would run up and down the street. If they needed me, I could easily be contacted by flicking the light. They often encouraged me to go for a run as my attitude improved after a few miles.

During their growing up years I found running a quiet place where I could realign my thinking. I could listen to my breathing and reconnect with the calm, mature mother I wanted to be. Trying to be an attentive able parent could on occasion result in an exhausted, too loud – too worried woman. Running helped me find inner peace. I have kept the following quote tucked safely in drawer for years

I congratulate the long distance runner for his self-discipline.
I share with him his loneliness. I envy him his peace. Pierre Trudeau

Trudeau was trying to run Canada at the time. I found running a household equally as challenging. I resonated to the use of loneliness, self-discipline, and peace. I know being the parent I wanted to be required self-discipline and was often lonely. Our daughters are fine able mothers today. They do a fine job raising four amazing grandchildren. I have noted however, they both run. They too have learned the value of taking time to “get away” and regroup. They need to become the mothers they want to be. They too are trying to create a home of connections, communication and commitment. They watched their mother struggle. They too are finding their way with running shoes, sweaty socks and sunblock. They too are learning life lessons on the road.