Birthdays Matter

A birthday celebration really focuses on one individual and provides evidence that in this complicated world the person is cherished. A birthday is the anniversary of a person’s birth and marks the passage of time in a life. Birthdays really are a celebration of life.

Henri Nouwen said it best. “Celebrating a birthday is exalting life and being glad for it. On a birthday we do not say: “ Thanks for what you did, or said, or accomplished.” No, we say: “ Thank you for being born and being among us.”… Celebrating a birthday reminds us of the goodness of life, and in this spirit we really need to celebrate people’s birthdays every day.”


I teach an undergraduate class at a local University. During a complicated conversation focused on family systems, a student mentioned how much she disliked sharing birthdays with her sister who was born in the same week of the same month although years apart. “We always had a shared birthday!” Everyone agreed on the importance of ”own birthday” recognition. I don’t think it is the gifts or decorated cakes that drive the disappointment when the celebration is shared. What is significant is having a moment on that special day that separates you out and assures you matter. I believe a half sandwich with a flag on top would be welcomed when it conveys the recognition, celebration and awareness that on that special day you are noticed. Even twins have told me, they prefer separate cupcakes or separate cookies.

Truth is young and old alike flourish when everyday someone says I care for you. Truth is there is hope when everyday someone says you are important. I am glad you are here. A birthday hurrah heralds and assures your presence is noticed. I believe long after the sparkle, the candle glow and song of celebration, a birthday celebration lives quietly in memory bringing a smile and an inner glow for the 364 days that follow.