Family Work Works

The flyer arrived in my mail box. Bold lettering read, “Life’s too short to clean your own home.” The flyer includes a long list of tasks that will be done correctly. I noticed I have missed some key areas in my cleaning regime. Jean Illsley Clarke states. “The chores are the grist from which character and confidence are built.” Giving children chores or household tasks provides the ways means, and virtues of behaving responsibly. Children learn to appreciate the complexities of household tasks by being a participant not just an observer. Making beds, dumping trash, clearing the table and folding clothes teaches self help skills. Farm families have always known the importance of everyone sharing in the farm and family work. It is about belonging, connecting and being valued. During a lecture series in Fargo, a young boy came up to me and said how much he liked it when the Red River floods. “ My parents always say they need me to come to the river and fill sand bags. I like to be needed.” Household responsibilities teach children they too can contribute. Children learn that work is essential to physical and emotional development. Knowing how to do basic tasks teaches self-esteem and confidence.

Adults who have been overindulged according to Jean Clarke’s research, had parents who did not expect them to do chores. They had parents who did everything for the child and did not enforce rules, gave children too much freedom and let the child dominate the family. I recently worked with the staff of a private college who were worried that their own children would be like the college freshmen they observed in their daily work lives. They watched college students unable to handle money, attend classes, complete homework, or complete basic day to day living skills. I reviewed with them the importance of having children involved in family work. Dr. Marty Rossmann from the University of Minnesota, believes chores teach responsibility and set a child up for success in adult life.

Recently a reporter at the Wall Street Journal wrote about his need to spend time with his son. He hired someone to clean so time with his son would be treasured. A later column focused on the importance of spending time with his son doing the chores together. Messages about belonging emerge when a schedule of chores for all family members is created. Paying attention to child growth and development still allows for everyone to have a place and a responsibility. One years are very eager to help. Don’t miss the chance to teach how chores are to be done and create a system that includes chore rotation. Last Sunday, my friend told me her son was off to college. He was ready. He had done well academically, and knew how to cook, do laundry and keep a house tidy. He felt confident and prepared. Such skills are probably more important than high ACT scores.

Jay Walljasper says, “The state of our society and the health of our environment is built upon a foundation of small everyday events.” Children need to see adults problem solving, staying focused on the task of family living and paying attention to one another in civil and thoughtful ways. Life is too short not to include all family members in home cleaning, home enjoying and home play. A parent’s job is to prepare the child for the path and not prepare the path for the child. Child preparation includes broom, vacuum, dust rag, dish towel and laundry soap use. Child preparation is being included in small everyday events. Share the broom!