Trying To Send The Best
Card sending and receiving is not an easy task. I own boxes of cards with which I am unable to part. Cards from individuals who have since died are filled with kind caring words that bring me to tears as I recall moments now housed in memory. I treasure ‘I love you’ cards from my husband. Each one documents another year that mattered. I have cards from “once upon a time” friends who later decided I had “toad qualities.” They too bring sighs when I reflect on people I once knew. I have cards from my once very young children with smiling faces and carefully scripted capital letters decorated with smiling faces and hearts. What is better than that? The boxes reside in closets and the basement. Every once in awhile I decide it is time to tidy up. Those boxes are taking up space. I never get too far on that quest. I end up sitting on the floor rereading, remembering, re-wondering about past connections, past celebrations, and the stories that are my life. All the cards go back in the boxes. I must need them.
My sister has a birthday at the end of the month. Finding the card I could authentically sign took way too long. My relationship with my sister is just that. She is my sister. I have heart head struggles with that. My heart says send her a card. My head says why? I wandered aimlessly through racks of cards. I noticed the categories are quite extensive. Today one can begin and end a relationship with words carefully written with a choice of flowers, scenery, candles, tunes and humor. I don’t do well with funny cards. I find so many of them sneakily hurtful. Too often for me stuff said as a joke isn’t funny. I even saw a funny but hurtful card that would have worked for my sister. I couldn’t send that. But it was authentic. I look longingly at some cards that jump for joy about sister relationships. Someone said, family has to take you in. Sisters are suppose to matter. Parents are supposed to be loved. I hear many business groups say “We are like family.” What does that mean? The families I know are complex. In my view the assumptions about family and those about business are very different. Business connections can end. Family relationships ending can damage souls.
Cards that talk about shared love, adventures, connections and emotional safety fill the racks. My sister and I have a fragmented story. Our story has many cognitive reasons that our disconnect is. My heart, however, struggles with a hope and a wish. It takes energy, time and conversations to reconnect. I don’t think a card will do it. I also know email won’t. Maybe I will tweet her on October 21st? Would a text message be better?
Do people save tweets? Are there boxes of emails somewhere that bring tears?
P.S. Every mother hopes siblings will be there for one another. My daughters are connected as sisters and friends. I am sure my mother had hoped for better between Trudy and me.
My sister has a birthday at the end of the month. Finding the card I could authentically sign took way too long. My relationship with my sister is just that. She is my sister. I have heart head struggles with that. My heart says send her a card. My head says why? I wandered aimlessly through racks of cards. I noticed the categories are quite extensive. Today one can begin and end a relationship with words carefully written with a choice of flowers, scenery, candles, tunes and humor. I don’t do well with funny cards. I find so many of them sneakily hurtful. Too often for me stuff said as a joke isn’t funny. I even saw a funny but hurtful card that would have worked for my sister. I couldn’t send that. But it was authentic. I look longingly at some cards that jump for joy about sister relationships. Someone said, family has to take you in. Sisters are suppose to matter. Parents are supposed to be loved. I hear many business groups say “We are like family.” What does that mean? The families I know are complex. In my view the assumptions about family and those about business are very different. Business connections can end. Family relationships ending can damage souls.
Cards that talk about shared love, adventures, connections and emotional safety fill the racks. My sister and I have a fragmented story. Our story has many cognitive reasons that our disconnect is. My heart, however, struggles with a hope and a wish. It takes energy, time and conversations to reconnect. I don’t think a card will do it. I also know email won’t. Maybe I will tweet her on October 21st? Would a text message be better?
Do people save tweets? Are there boxes of emails somewhere that bring tears?
P.S. Every mother hopes siblings will be there for one another. My daughters are connected as sisters and friends. I am sure my mother had hoped for better between Trudy and me.
Labels: family relationships, greeting cards, sister
posted by Ada at
6:35 AM
